A Fishy Tail from a lady's point of view
by Carol Robinson, Aug 05

The Beginning………………arrived at Dover for the Coach at 9pm Friday evening. As cars started to arrive I began to get nervier….what had I let myself in for? - all these men!! Not a woman to be seen and the only topic of conversation was fish!

The coach was late but once it had parked up there was a mass of rod bags, bed chairs, bait buckets, etc (and pillows??? why do grown men need to take their pillows???) all piled on the roadside. On instruction from the coach drivers the men started loading on the stuff in the correct order. For men….this was so unusual but everything went on systematically.

There was only one disturbance and that was the trio from St. Helens, who I later named Oasis. One of them was a little 'unsteady' and insisted on putting his rod bag on when the bed chairs were being loaded, his bed chair on when bags were being loaded and of course had to mouth off when told he was doing it wrong. He provided me with entertainment whilst the loading was being done, though I was apprehensive that there may be trouble ahead. Another angler had a slight panic when he couldn't find his passport…...

"I had it on my knee all the way here, and its not there now" the panic in his voice rising. Of course it was dark by now which made the hunt more difficult. The coach driver didn't help by saying "he won't be coming without a passport". "Hooray", there was a cheer and the passport was found…. in his bag!
We boarded the coach and the coach driver gave out his instructions about no alcohol, no smoking on the coach, anyone being sick would not be coming back on the coach in a week's time and seatbelts were to be worn. His recommendation was that we all slept… I think that was to ensure we all stayed out of trouble. The ferry journey was short and sweet and we were soon back on the coach. From then on the coach went quiet and everyone slept most of the four hour journey through the French countryside (that you couldn't see 'cos it was pitch black).

Day 1…………we arrived at DreamLakes at 6.00am Saturday, 6th August 2005. The sight I was met with, was 50 hairy anglers all waiting to board the coaches to go home!! Tea was being served in the Lodge (but of course I was too shy to go in there alone…. so did without). The unloading of the fishing gear began and this was as organized as it was in Dover…. I was impressed.

I had got my first impressions of our fellow anglers and to be honest they were spot on throughout our week. We had Oasis from St. Helens. The 'Essex Boys' were obvious by their designer gear…. right down to their bait buckets having the same modern design, and even their pillows!!! The 'crazy frog' family was Mark and his son Darren, oh and finally Boyzone, named after the song Father and Son they were Jim and his son Nick. More names do crop up as the week goes on.

As we were fishing DreamLake 3 our fishing gear went into two minibuses with DL4 & DL5 and we got a lift up to DL3 Lodge - well Ian and I walked as I wasn't happy about getting in a minibus with 16 blokes and a pile of fishing tackle!!

Anyway it wasn't far and by the time we got there the lads had unloaded all the stuff, ha ha. Weather update: well I'm not happy about the weather… it's rather overcast and not that warm, but hey its only 6am.

Chris was our Bailiff and a very nice bloke too. He set about telling us the rules and regulations, times of meals, etc. Then he did the swim draws for where everyone was fishing. Ian had last draw. Crocodile Dundee and his party were all on DL5 so they sorted themselves out. Mr. McGoo and his party were all on DL4 so they went off which left Dave and Keith, the crazy frog family with Lee, Boyzone and us. So we ended up with Peg 4 on the other side of the lake to everyone else, with Nick and Jim as our 'neighbours'. The start of a week of laughter and excellent fishing!!

The Lodge at DL3 consisted of two toilets (no ladies!! they were communal), a shower block and the shop which sold bait, bait and more bait oh and some drinks! I must complement Chris, the Bailiff, on keeping the toilet and shower area spotless. Hats off to him.

At 9.45am Chris could be heard shouting "TEA UP" which was our signal to walk up the lane where he would pick us up and take us to the Lodge up at DL2. It was now 18 people in a minibus that had a bench all the way round, so of course I was always apprehensive but by day 5 I was fine!!!

So still on Day 1 it is now 10am and we are up at the Lodge on DL2 getting a bacon butty and a cup of tea. Lovely and well needed. Breakfast over it was back in the minibus and back to our 'home'. The sun came out……….LET THE FISHING COMMENCE!! Well the sun didn't last long - only an hour, that's bad news that is. And worse still, no fish caught yet! This afternoon was spent mainly sleeping. Just before 5pm the guy opposite, Dave, got a 30lb Catfish.

"TEA UP" shouts Chris so everyone reels in their rods and Ian, Nick, Jim and myself walk up the lane. Dinner was Steak and Chips - absolutely enormous and delicious, oh and rhubarb crumble and custard for pudding…. beautiful. As quickly as dinner was served it was cleared away…if you put your knife and fork down the plate was gone from under your nose.

As the week progressed we laughed and suggested they serve the pudding and the dinner on the same plate! No-one complained, obviously the quicker dinner was out of the way the quicker the fishing could continue. Many a time Jim had to get on the minibus with his cup of tea. It was all good fun.

Right, well back at the ranch……. rods out - a fish would be nice now. Nick had a 30lb Cat - 'fish on' we all ran and watched him bring it in, then Jim got a rather long-winded 42lb Cat - 'fish on' we all ran and - yawn yawn - watched him bring that in. Zzzzzzzzzzz we are so tired and of course Ian is unhappy he hasn't caught and Boyzone have!! BRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrinnnnnnng……what's that just before midnight ……….hang on……..here it comes……GOTCHA! Ian has caught a 44lb Catfish and broken his personal best - smiles all round. Ok everyone back to bed. Bring on Day 2!

Day 2……… "TEA UP" Chris's sultry tones echo across the lakes. Nick Jim, Ian and I walk up the lane and get picked up by the scruffy minibus. The conversation on the short journey consists only of 'caught anything?', 'yeah, had a 44lb catfish…... you?' 'Yeah had a 30lb carp in the middle of the night', etc etc..

Breakfast is at 10am - everyone meets up at the Lodge and they help themselves to tea or coffee and then sit down. In general everyone sits in the same place. I take my seat whilst Ian gets the drinks!

On the nod (I never did find out what the nod was)… everyone makes their way up to the counter and Breakfast is dished up……egg, bacon, sausage, tomatoes and beans. Just time for a second cuppa and Chris is revving the engine up to take us back - its only 10.20am. Back at the camp and the sun has gone in! Ian got a run at 12.30(ish) and hooked a small catfish - not worth weighing as it was only small, but it was about 8lb. I videoed the occasion but all you can see is Ian and Jim's arses over the net - not too interesting.

Weather update: intermittent sunshine, warm but cloudy.
I am sunbathing, I'm happy, Ian has caught, he's happy. For €20 we got a crate of lager, both happy! Nick caught a 37lb Cat about an hour ago, neighbours happy!

"TEA UP" ………off to the Lodge we go for tonight's culinary delight of a Roast Lamb dinner and rice pudding for dessert - lovely. On the way back we picked up the champagne we had put on ice for Ian getting a PB (personal best).

Day 3…………… woken up at 3am this morning to the sound of the BRRRRrrrrrnnnnnnn………… and Ian bagged his first Carp. Caught on Halibut pellet he has a 28lb Carp.

At 3am in the morning not much is said as everyone is tired and half asleep. Nick and Jim both got up and came to watch but all very subdued. Back to bed. Ten minutes later BBRRRRRrrrrrrrrrnnnnn….. I don't believe this…. we have to jump up again. Ian has caught a 62½lb Catfish!! Beating his PB by 20lb (that's another bottle of Champagne on ice).

Ian had a fight on his hands getting this one in as it took him round swims 3 and 1. Jim netted it for him and fell arse over tit! My laughter rang out over the lake. To make things worse the Catfish then pooed on him…. wouldn't want to be in his tent tonight! Ha ha.

Its 3.40am now and Ian is on a high after that mighty catch - he and Nick are having a beer to celebrate!! Back to bed boys.

Ian, Nick and Jim have decided today that they will try pop-ups so have all put one rod out with pop-ups. Going off everyone else, the fish are all getting caught on halibut pellets and Catfish are coming out a lot more so than Carp. So the pop ups are to attract the Carp.

"TEA UP" gosh I feel like I have been up all night and now its breakfast time. I have got chatting to a Brummy man in a wheelchair, Mark, at mealtimes now. He is a really nice bloke, unfortunately he is not too happy as he has not caught yet - he is on DL2.

This afternoon was very quiet - I sunbathed but need more sun less cloud. No fish for Ian but Nick has had a couple of Catfish. Whilst the weather is lovely and I'm feeling brave Nick lets me hold one of his Catfish. After all, when I take up fishing I'm going to have to do this myself.

"TEA UP" 4.45pm already. The lads on DL4 and DL5 are having a good time, they are catching big fish and are very happy.

Dinner tonight was Steak Pie, chips and veg with fruit and cream for pudding. Dinner served in record time today I think we were back on the minibus by 5.20pm. Back to camp for the evening. We played some music quietly and had a laugh. Jim points out the satellites to us. We shared our Champagne with Nick and Jim tonight.

9.11pm Jim just caught a 28lb Cat on halibut pellet - he is made up because he was lagging behind. Bed at 11pm, with the anticipation that we will be up all night catching fish. Ian has this theory that he only catches in the dark which is unfortunate because you can't take a video and the scenery doesn't come out on the photos.

Day 4………… 12.30am both of us asleep - its pitch black, can't see a thing. BRRRRRrrrrrnnnnn….. Ian falls out the tent and nearly goes straight past the rods and into the Lake!! Nick and Jim didn't even surface. Caught a 20lb Catfish, quickly netted by me, photographed ….. yawn yawn…. back to bed. Oh no………. 1.20AM…… another fish? YUP……… a 25lb Catfish for Ian. Nick surfaced as we tried to net this one and Jim surfaced for the weigh in.

"TEA UP" is it that time already? We have only just got to sleep after a night of catching!

Weather update: glorious sunshine…at last.

"TEA UP" shouts Chris. Everyone can be seen reeling in their rods and we saunter up the lane to be picked up. Someone on Lake 4 caught an 87lb Catfish…can't imagine what that was like as I thought Ian's 62½lb was big enough. Tea tonight was Chicken and chips.

Day 5………… In the middle of the night the young boy opposite on the lake, Darren from the Crazy Frog family, had caught a fish. "Dad", "Dad", "DAD" he shouted, "DaaaaaD", "Daaaad", "DAD" he shouted. I could hear splashing but still no voices "DAD", "DaaaD". I felt like going round myself but you always think well someone will get there before me. It must have been nearly half an hour he called his Dad, and he was only in a tent 100yds up the lake! Why he didn't hear him I'll never know. Eventually you could hear muffled voices and it turns out Darren had caught a 45lb Carp. He had managed to net it himself but he just couldn't get it up on to the bank. What an outcome for him.

Later on that same night Lee had a run and Darren and his Dad, Mark both helped him land a 41½lb Common. The commotion could be heard across the Lake, it was so funny you could here Mark shouting "Darren" "Darren" "Daaarrreen" and then when they weighed it Mark shouts "41½LB", "how much?" someone else shouted, "41½LB" Mark shouts back. "How big?" "41 ½LB" "yeah 41 ½LB" "how big?". After that, every day everyone was shouting "Darreeeenn" and asking Mark how big the fish was. The funny thing was Mark didn't seem to get the joke and answered quite sincerely each time, 41½LB!!.

About 8.30am Ian got a bite on 'my rod' (that is the one that I requested a pop up on and told him where to cast it), "feels like a carp" Ian said as he played it. He got it to the bank and it was a Carp then……. splash it got away - gutted oh no!

"TEA UP" Chris shouts. Breakfast beckons. Mark on DL2 still hasn't caught anything and is beginning to get annoyed. People are moving swims in order to catch but because he is in a wheelchair he is limited to where he can go. Weather update: glorious sunshine.

Nick just caught a 28lb Cat. Ian is waiting now desperately as he hasn't had a fish for a while and Nick and Jim are romping ahead. Ian's theory of only catching at night is still standing so tonight he will be lucky. The Carp are waiting to be caught. Nick got a run "fish on"……"oh it's a big one" Nick says, "It's a Carp" someone else says. He plays it and he plays it (I think making a meal out of it but, hey, what do I know)… It's coming in, it's coming in…….SNAP! Oooops. Ian, Jim and I backed out of the peg leaving Nick to his tantrum. Of course then the jokes came, Jim shouted Nick "hey Nick we're playing cards, are you playing?........ SNAP".

Day 6…………Thursday 11th ………its 3AM and it's dark. BRRRRrrrrrnnnnnnn……that bloody alarm. Ian dashes out. I slowly gather my thoughts and the torch. Ian has caught a 15lb Catfish. The other two didn't surface. Later on, but still in the wee small hours, Nick shouted he had a Carp……. 'what size' groans Ian, '19lb' replies Nick "oh zzzzzzzzzz" was the reply.

"TEA UP". Mark on DreamLake 2 has at last caught a couple of catfish, so he has a smile on his face this morning. Breakfasts get quicker each day and we were back at the ranch at 10.20am, I think this is because the lads want as much fishing time that there is. Weather update: glorious sunshine though I am told it won't last today, boo hoo!

Ian decided to fish another swim today. The fish have been crashing out the last couple of days further up the Lake to the left of us and so Ian wants to try his luck casting to where they are. So off he trundles with his rods and his bed chair and spends 6 hours on Peg 7. Guess what… he caught nothing!! But he had a nice time to himself watching them crashing out!! Ha Ha. He had a great retort to the fact he never caught. He claimed he had pushed them down to his original swim now so he will definitely catch this evening.

"TEA UP" its 4.45 pm and Pork Chop for tea, followed by Spotted Dick for pudding - lovely. Much better than yesterday's Cottage Pie! Back on the bus …have I mentioned the Dog?? It's a wolf with white eyes…..weird looking thing but it cadges a lift each night in the bus and he stinks!

From 6pm to 9pm it was all quiet. At 9pm it suddenly went cloudy and then…….the heavens opened. It poured and poured. We took refuge in the tent and couldn't hear a thing other than the rain lashing down. So an early night was forced upon us. Good thing really because I reckon I had a bit of sunstroke!! Just before midnight Ian was woke and had a struggle with a 37½lb Cat. It took him ages to play it after it took him into Nick's swim.

Day 7…………2.00am Wet and dark and we are woken to WWWWRRRRRrrrrrrrrggggg. Another one bites the dust Ian has a carp on - the crazy frog family have just had to 40lb Carp so looks like the rain caused the fish to come up. This one is a feisty one, slapping and jumping about. Ian reeled it in - a 24½lb Mirror. Back to bed ZZZzzzz.

Yawn…..5AM and Ian has a fish on. It doesn't feel too big but he soon hits difficulty when it swims towards the bank and snags itself in the low overhanging branches of a tree. The fish knows its best to stay there and so it does. Meanwhile Ian decides the only thing he can do is wait for it to get lighter and then go in the Lake for it. So at 6.00am in he goes…. wading through the dirty water, up to his knees in silt and now minus the flip flops he went in with! He cuts the branch and releases the fish and brings it in to the net. Whilst this is going on Jim has a run and loses it at the net as his line snapped, looked like a big mirror. Ian's 'tree fish' weighed in at 16½lb Cat.

Weather update: intermittent rain and sun. Temperatures good.

"TEA UP" for the final breakfast. I am quite at ease now travelling in this smelly old minibus with 17 smelly men. It only took me 6 days!! Breakfast for the last time was the fastest ever… out by 10.15AM. We spend today tidying up, packing up what we don't need. A lot of the lads on the other side and on lakes 4 and 5 have decided that they will pack up their tents and sleep under the stars as we have to be up and ready to go for 6.00am.

At 1.30pm Ian gets a run - an 8lb Cat and we caught the action on video. Nick lost a Mirror and Jim has taken up Butterfly catching, but Ian never gives up.

"TEA UP" for the last time we go to the Lodge for dinner - tonight's piste de resistance is Roast Beef - massive pieces of beef piled on the plate, followed by apple crumble for pudding. I cannot fault the food this week - it has been superb! All home-made and dead efficient. I am impressed. Back at the ranch and we are going to fish to the end. Jim says he is packing up and bringing his rods in we manage to talk him out of bringing the rods in but he does pack his tent away and gets a gazebo out of the bins and makes a shelter out of it!! Hysterical.

Chris brings us the van round so that we can load our stuff up and drive it round for the others in the morning. So that saves us a lot of time.

Nick gets a 62lb Cat about 10.30pm and then Jim got a run…… we all rushed over and he thought he had lost it… 'its gone… oh no, no it's not, it's still on' Jim says and plays the 'fish' he winds in and says 'it's only small tho'. Winding and winding… finally the 'fish' surfaces… it's a stick!!!!! Our laughter could be heard round the lake. Everyone on the other side were shouting ' have you caught?', 'what is it?', 'how heavy?' We couldn't answer for laughing!! We eventually turned in for the night at 12.30.

Day 8…………we had only been in bed about 20 minutes and Ian's alarm was screaming. 'FISH ON'…….a 61½lb Cat. The big torch had run out of power, so we struggled in the dark with not much light. Jim wouldn't get up from his makeshift camp so Nick and Ian had to struggle with the big thing. For the photos Ian could hardly hold it, so Nick obliged by holding the tail. It was a great end to a great fishing trip.

4.30am and the phone alarm went off to tell us it was time to load up the van. This was done in darkness and quiet as we were all tired. We still managed a giggle and the last thing that Ian packed up was his rods. We drove the van round to the Lodge and considering everyone else had packed away the night before they weren't even ready. At last all the fishing gear on board and the sun was coming up on our final hours at DreamLakes we said goodbye to Lakes 3, 4 and 5.

The End……Up at the Lodge on DL2 the men unloaded the minibuses and then we had tea and awaited the coaches to take us on our journey home.

Finally, the coaches turned up with another 50 hairy anglers - I must admit I was very lucky with the bunch I have just spent a week with, as the ones that came off were a rough looking lot (bet we looked that rough the week before at 6am in the morning). At one point there was a 100 people milling around but all due given, it ran like clockwork and the new arrivals took their gear off and our lot loaded up for departure. Finally, about 7am we were on the coach and driving through France back to Calais (this time taking in the…..very flat….landscape). Two hours into the journey we stopped at a Service Station for a toilet break and this was the first sign to me that I was in France.

All week I have said it did not feel like I was in another country just wrapped up in 'fishing world'. There was nothing French about the whole week. Back on board the coach and another two hours to Calais.

Everyone at DreamLakes needs applauding. An excellent job is being done out there. It is an excellent experience for you anglers that have never been, and when you have you will want to go again and again.

And for any women who have the privilege of their partners actually wanting them by their side it is errr…..different. I thoroughly enjoyed my stay and all the men were totally respectful. I will be back next year.

Author
Carol Robinson

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